Open letter to Poliphony Digital

Ever since Gran Turismo came out on the Playstation that I became a fan.

I love cars, it was the best game with cars.
It was a game constantly being used. It only came out of the tray to insert the excellent Gran Turismo 2, which was my most played game ever, surpassing by far and a large margin even the likes of a Final Fantasy VII or IX. That´s something.

My day would be to choose a car, practice with it, tune him, qualify him and race him to win, handicapping myself, testing my skills back in the day, whilst learning what the different tunes would cause on the handling.

Countless days.

Then came Gran Turismo 3.

A masterpiece. The pixel clarity of the models, the beauty of old longtime friend tracks, all in the most beautiful splendor, along with a decent soundtrack, as was usual, it too was played hours without end.

And what to say of Gran Turismo 4, even more refined? The number of laps in Le Sarthe and Nordschlleife alone were beyond measure of any time but the stopwatch, relentlessly pointing out the seconds, tens of seconds, thousands of seconds shaved of on every lap.
Gran Turismo always was the main reason for me to buy a console. And little or no games besides those at all really mater to me.
At the time I owned a shining beautiful porcelain white PSP, and for years I waited for a piece of motoring mobile fun, that was promised to us.
All I wanted was just a portion of the GT 2 awesomeness.
But no. Some idiot thought better and decided to release the worst piece of shit with a GT logo on it.
The tracks had stitches all over, which, for example, TOCA Race Driver, an excellent game does not, they were too few, TOCA had more, the cars were clumsy to drive, that TOCA does not, it became really soon fucking boring to play, that TOCA did not, but by far what really pissed me off was the stupid rubber band effect on the higher ranks.

I took the fucking time to clock the shit out of it. I could catch the immense 3 car leading and only pack! in one lap, because there was only 4 fucking cars on track!, but then, for magical reasons, the number 2 spot would always match my time, even if 10s slower before I reach him.

Not to mention the dealers. The fucking imbecile idiocy of the dealers.
Why the fuck in the name of holy shit would someone want a random dealer when the point is, I want to make a race, I need a certain car, that I think appropriate for it, and I can only get him in a random, uncertain day, if it ever comes out?!

It´s. Fucking. Stupid. As. FUCK!!!

And then, Playstation 3 came. And I had a bad feeling, from the above disappointment. But still I believed in Gran Turismo 5.

All those delays, I had a pre-order delayed FOR ONE FUCKING GODAMNED YEAR!!!, but you told us that is was to achieve motoring perfection.


And then, a fucking year and a half, my 120€ Collectors Edition came on the mail. 120€ fucking of my euros!

Oh sweet mother of petrol, how I was excited!

I still remember unwrapping GT2. It had on the blue disc the smell of motor oil. It was like, the coolest thing ever.
Besides the all game, making us change the different cars for the requested horsepowers, but then, one would only need to grind a bit to earn enough moneys and carry on.

So this was like the excitement I had with GT5.

So, I throw the disk in the tray and the most boring, out of logic, devoid of motoring taste introduction appears.

The real reason for that shit for brains introduction was just to advertise some japanese piano player THAT I DON´T GIVE A FUCK!

Worst, Gran Turismo always had brutal rock tracks that one could enjoy. It fell a bit short in GT4, by on GT5 it was just pure shit! Just japanese motherfucking piece of shit!

Fortunately later there was a update making possible to listen to my own soundtrack, something that some fucking 10€ games would do from scratch.

It would not fucking work properly! Not even that, godamit!

But hey, still it pales when trying to finish that piece of crap without the later seasonal gay events.

Yes, because someone spends 120€ in a game to enjoy, but has to be online to make moneys and progress like he used to.
A 2h race would give one some 140.000Cr or less, but a gayseasonal would give the triple in 8m!

Why the fuck?! If someone does not have a interwebs, must he suffer like I did, to finish it?!

You stupid dumbass motherfuckers!

And the kart shit, and the drift, don´t even get me started on that! To make it compulsory to achieve licenses and finishing events is the most irritating crap ever!

I. Fucking. Hate. That. SHIT! It´s fucking pointless, has no fun what so ever, is completely random in behavior, it´s just shit.

The only thing, and it was THE ONLY GODAMN THING! that made me carry on was the endurance races.

But even there you´ve messed up.

All I wanted was a car cockpit devoid of anything but the tyres and fuel indicators. I mean, I could choose what I wanted in 1997, right?  I now I did. Tachometer, lap counter, a simple timer and that´s it.

But no. You had to put in all sorts of useless crap, like pilots (???), g-meter (started in GT4 for what???Who the fuck uses it???), all sorts of time assortments.

All I wanted was 2 things for endurance:

Tyres. Fuel.
But hey, you listened to the people, I give you that, and in another one of the countless “updates” you gave the option of taking things off the screen. Finally.

It was, either we have your shit, or none of it.

You really, really suck, poliphony. Did you know that?

But as I said, endurances. All I want in the GT series.

After finally correcting yet another stupid senseless devoid of reason whatsoever decision that, in order to make a 24h race one could not rely on B-Spec, as I did in GT4, even though B-Spec in GT 5  WAS THE MOST STUPID FUCKING IDIOTIC IMBECILE RETARDED PIECE OF ELEPHANT MANURE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , and had to leave the console on in order to eat, sleep, shit, work and fuck whilst in pause, charging the electric bills like a motherfucking pimp, all this shit up there, all of it, I wiped it clean once I saw the sunset and sunrise in Le Sarthe and Nurburbring.

I can safely say that I have a month + worth of 24h under my belt in these two tracks.

And I did them in a variety of LMP1´s, GTS´s and GT´s just for the sheer fun of it.
I mean, it´s not fun to go in with a M3 and all the other cars strangely are not from the same class, but then one would have to be intelligent to program such a thing.

So, what brought me here, to this anonymous open letter, that no one will read or care, but that I´m distilling all my hatred and frustration on it.

Gran Turismo 6

Again, the same stupid monotonous presentation.
Again, the same dull painful experience to play it offline.

All of it to reach the endurance races, now with Spa, which you fuckers wanted to rob us from as a paid DLC in GT5, but that was on my machine for the gaysonal events, go figure.

Who the fuck gave you the right to charge me of something you quietly installed there?

I will never know.

So I´ve just ended my S class in GT6, ready to go ahead to my favorite part. Endurances, fuck yeah.

I passed the stupidity and boring disillusion of those 24m races, with repetitive weather patterns no matter how many times one races on them, with no pit strategy possible, because in 24m no one can have a strategy, seriously, the most interest lacking event ever.

So I won all of the races. And was looking for the endurance spot to appear.

There was none.

“-I must have done something wrong.” - said I to myself in desperation.

So off to the interwebs to soothe my racing heart. Only to find what I feared.

There are no endurances as such, with the honored place they rightfully deserve.

They made some update making it possible to open rooms for it, but I don´t give a fuck about online, I want my fucking game, that´s it.

Why the fuck did you sons of bitches removed the proper places for the endurances, the Kings and Queens of the events?

To put the tedious stupid red bullshit in display? Or the Ayrton Senna thing?!

You have ruined Gran Turismo for good to me! It´s shit, after crap, after diarrhea decisions, since GT PSP!

Why can´t I have a fun feature like fucking forza for Xbox 360, and paint the car how I want, even making works of fucking art, or realist damage, that GTA IV has far more better, you lazy bastards?!

The stupid thing is that even Need for Speed Shift 2 has them, and I have tons of fun racing my car designs!

Another thing:

Invisible walls in the 21st century?!

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you fucking cunts still living in the fucking ps one era?

WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!

Or better still, fuck you!

This time I´ve had my turning point.

I will never, from this day onward, buy another Gran Turismo!

I´ve had enough!

FUCK YOU, POLIPHONEY DIGITAL! May you all be raped in the ass by a rhinoceros horn till the day you fucking die!